Killer Instinct
by diabolikal rapture
Summary: Sydney places her trust in an enemy in order to find out about her time as Julia.
1. World comes tumblin'

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**Title: **Killer Instinct

**Author:** diabolikal rapture / Britt

**Summary: **Takes place after _A Missing Link_, and includes part of _Repercussions_, the rest is AU. Sydney risks her life to find the truth about her missing years, and places her trust within one of her enemies. Includes Syd, Simon, Sark, Vaughn and possibly others.

**Feedback: **Please review and let me know what you think! This is my first attempt at a chapter fic, so please let me know what you like/didn't like!

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**Killer Instinct : **

**Chapter 1**: _World Comes Tumblin'_

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Sydney slowly awoke to the throbbing pain in herhead. She slowly opened her eyes, and was blinded instantlyby the brightness of the sun. She looked through blurred vision as her eyes began to adjust. She held her hand to her head as the throbbing continued. She looked at her surroundings, confused by what she saw before her. She closed her eyes and opened them again, making sure that she was really in this unfamiliar room. She began to sit up, her head pounding as she pulled away the bed covers. Her feet hit the cold floor as she sat on the side of the bed. A sharp pain shot up her side, adding to the pain she already felt within her skull. She slowly lifted her shirt, afraid of what she might find. She hoped, she prayed, that it wasn't like last time. She looked down at her stomach and the prominent blue/purple bruise that coloured her skin. Gently she pressed down on the area, flinching with the pain she inflicted upon herself. She leaned further down, noticing a small spot of blood, the size of a pin prick...Had she been drugged? Was that why her head was pounding? And was that why she was in this unfamiliar room?

Syd stood a little too quickly, causing her head to spin. Again she held her hand to her head, hoping to push the dizziness from her mind. She moved slowly around the room, tracing the perimetre as she took note of her surroundings. She stopped in front of a large mirror beside the closet, and looked at her reflection. Everything was normal. But where was she? She struggled to ignore the continuous throbbing as she tried to retrace her steps, and tried to remember what she was doing before this happened. She remembered nothing. Had it happened again? Was she being held by the Covenant? She was growing frustrated with her disorientation, she needed answers, and she needed them now. She looked out the window, trying to figure out where she was. It looked like LA, but she wasn't sure. She spun as she heard the sound of voices outside the door. She crossed the room and tried the door handle, but it was locked. She gripped her fists and banged against the door, grabbing the attention of her captors.

The muffled voices fought with each other, until there was silence. She stood back from the door, and watched as a shadow played beneath the door. The handle slowly turned. She held her breath, preparing herself for whoever it was that was holding her there. She held her gaze as the door slowly opened, the brightness of the exterior room blinding her temporarily. She peered at the two figures as her eyes adjusted to the new lighting. She let out a sigh of relief when she saw the familiar face of Michael Vaughn standing before her. She felt a smile grow across her face as she looked into his eyes. She frowned as she studied his facial expression, his gaze was hard and cold, and it felt like he was looking straight through her. She was confused, but overjoyed by the sight of Vaughn. She shrugged off her thoughts and moved forward, throwing her arms around his shoulders, his shoulders remained stiff, and his hands in his pockets.

"Put your hands in the air!" Exclaimed the man standing behind Vaughn, "put 'em where I can see 'em, now!" He said, aiming his CIA issue gun directly at her.

She pulled her arms away from Vaughn, and held them in the air as she was instructed to do. She frowned as she stepped back. Vaughn's expression remained the same as the other man approached her. She glanced at the man before turning her attention back to Vaughn. Her eye's questioned him, but he made no response. She stood completely still as she allowed the man to guide her into another room. She was forced down into a chair as Vaughn entered the room and took a seat across from her. She watched him as he kept his eyes away from her own, making sure thatthey didn't make eye contact. She tried to swallow, but the lump that had formed in her throat made it increasingly difficult. She looked back as the man gripped her arms firmly and folded them behind her, cuffing them to the chair.

"What ...?" Sydney began as her voice caught in her throat.

Vaughn nodded to the man as he left the room, closing the door behind him. Syd focused on Vaughn as she swallowed and attempted to ask the question again.

"Vaughn, what's going on?"

He sat across from her in silence. He still hadn't made eye contact.

"Vaughn, look at me, tell me what's going on?" She said firmly, almost through her teeth.

She watched as he turned and gathered something from the table behind him. He turned back to face her, gripping a yellow folder in his hands. He held it within his grip for a few seconds before sliding it across the table between them. Syd gazed down at the folder, trying to see through the cover and view its contents. She looked back at Vaughn, her eyes asking him to open the folder for her. Their eyes connected for a split second as he stood and flipped the folder open, revealing a photograph inside. Syd stretched as far as she could from her restraints, trying to get a proper view of the photograph. She looked up at Vaughn and the angered expression on his face, before looking down at the photograph.

"That is what's going on ...Julia." Vaughn spat angrily.

Her breath caught within her throat at the mentioning of that name. She felt her eyes begin to tear up as she held her gaze on the black and white photo. What was she doing with Simon Walker? She scanned through her memory, hoping to find the answer but only found flashes of memories. Flashes of images of Simon and herself, but as soon as she tried to remember what she was doing with him, the images began to fade. She blinked as tears began to roll down her cheeks. She looked up at Vaughn through her blurred vision, questioning him, asking him for answers. Was it happening all over again?

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	2. Alone

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**Killer Instinct:**

**Chapter 2:** _Alone_

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Sydney sat on the end of the bed, her head in her hands as she tried to control her sobs. As soon as she thought she had them under control another sob would escape from her throat. The tears still fell down her cheeks. She desperately wanted to stop crying, to stop giving in to her emotions but the harder she tried to gain control the more her body gave in. She wasn't coping. She wasn't even sure what she was coping with, that's what scared her even more. The headache from before had dulled down to a faint throb that no longer bothered her. Whatever drug they had given her had practically worn off, and her memories were returning. Flashes of images that were strangely familiar to her clouded her mind as she continued to try and gain control over her body and emotions.

_You keep crying, crying, crying  
Till you cannot see at all  
You keep crying, crying, crying  
Till you cannot breathe at all  
What do you do when you're alone?_

What had become of her life? It barely felt likes anymore. Syd wasn't in control, and she hated it. Slowly she lay back onto the bed and stared at the roof above her. Light was quickly fleeting from the room as the sun set outside the window. She kept her gaze on the roof as her breathing began to calm down, and the time between each sob became longer and longer, until they had completely died down. She tightly closed her eyes, trying to picture the memories that were returning, trying to piece back together her life. She desperately wanted to know who was responsible for this, who was in charge of whatever this was, who purposely made her forget ...Her thoughts trailed off as she tried to focus on the clearer images, the memories which were most clear and fresh in her mind. She traced back to the first time she had heard of Simon, right through to the last time she remembered Simon when she had spoke with him on the phone about the job they had lined up.

_Picking up the pieces of a life you've broken  
Stitching it together with the seams wide open_

Syd opened her eyes to find the room in complete darkness. She stared up at the roof once. She felt as though things were becoming clearer as she retraced them, but she still had a gap in her memory, a blank patch between that phone conversation and the moment she awoke in that very room. It made no sense to her, but she was determined to remember, determined to find out whether she had discovered anything about her lost years, or whether or not she still needed to find out what had happened. She rolled onto her side as she noticed a thin line of light entering beneath the doorway to her 'cell'. She could hear the faint sound of a television whirring, and wondered if it was Vaughn out there babysitting her. She contemplated an escape, it seemed pretty simple. But she wanted to co-operate, just until she knew exactly why she was there and what she had done, if she had done anything at all. She slowly allowed her eyes to close, and soon she was dreaming.

_Dream _

Sydney grabbed her suitcase and headed towards the front of the airport. This was her chance to find out everything she could from Simon, and she wasn't going to let anything get in her way. She smoothed her hair away from her face as she scanned the crowd, searching for Simon. She continued through the crowded airport, keeping her eyes open for that familiar face that she longed to see. Despair began to set in when a firm hand grabbed her arm and spun her around. She found herself looking into his face, and the despair disappeared. She smiled.

"Hello sweetheart," he said as he put his arm around her and squeezed, before guiding her towards the car park.

They crossed the airport and made their way to his car. He opened the door for her as she noticed Javier andAvery in the backseat. She smiled politely at them, and waited for a response from either of them. She knew she wasn't going to get one. She turned back to Simon as he sat beside her and started the engine. Javier and Avery didn't trust her, and she wasn't so sure that Simon did either. Simon noticed her eyes upon him and knew what she was thinking.

"Are you ready?" He asked. Syd gripped the suitcase that rested in her lap and nodded in reply. The car pulled away from the curb and headed towards their destination.

The car ride was silent, so silent that it was deafening. She was temped to start a conversation, but her thoughts kept her occupied. Occasionally Simon looked over at her, and she wondered what he was thinking. She kept her eyes forward watching the road before them. She knew what awaited them, and was beginning to doubt the plan. What if something went wrong? And they couldn't get what they wanted? Should they still go to the warehouse? She turned her attention to the passenger window and the passing scenery as she continued to question their motives, and her own. For some reason she couldn't let them go through with this, she knew what awaited them and needed to stop it.

"Turn around, " Syd said almost as a whisper, breaking the silence within the vehicle.

"Are you completely out of your mind?" Simon asked as he glanced at her before returning his attention to driving.

"It isn't safe, they know we're coming. We have to turn back." She said firmly and more confidently. She focused on Simon as she realised what she was doing. How was she going to explain this?

"Who knows we're coming?" Simon asked, "Julia?"

"Interpol, one of my sources confirmed that it wouldn't be safe to enter the warehouse today."

Javier leaned forward and gripped the side of Sydney's chair as he looked from Simon then to Sydney, "Your source...the CIA." He said accusingly as he pulled his gun on her.

"Hey!" Simon yelled as he swung his arm out at Javier. "Are you sure that we've been compromised?" He asked, completely ignoring Javier, who was now arguing withAvery in the backseat.

"Yes, I'm sure. We just need to wait a few days." She said, pleading with him. She wondered how convincing she sounded.

"She can't be trusted!" Javier exclaimed, "You know it Simon, you just can't ..."

Simon shot a glare back at Javier that shut him up straight away. Sydney's thoughts were overwhelming her, was he defending her? Or was he just playing along until they had evidence that she was lying?

Simon pulled over to the side of the road, his hands firmly grasping the wheel. He could still hear Javier arguing with Avery behind him. Somehow he knew he was going to regret this. He shook his head, he didn't need this. He already didn't completely trust her. He maintained focus on the road in front of him. They were so close to their drop off point, so close to thelarge amount of moneythey would receive for this job, but if it was a trap then it wasn't worth a cent. He could feel her eyes upon him, watching his facial expression, waiting for him to make a decision. He spun the wheel and turned the car around.

"You can't be serious!"

"If you want to continue on ahead, then go. Julia thinks that we've been compromised, then I believe her. We'll head to the safehouse and wait, if nothing happens then we'll continue on with the job. Alright?"

Javier and Avery shook their heads in disagreement, but reluctantly agreed with Simon. Sydney's thoughts continued to plague her. She felt both relief and fear, her life was on the line and she knew it.

Syd awoke to the sudden sound of thunder clapping, and rolled over as the widow pane shook with its force. She quickly fell back to sleep as her dream continued to show her the memories she had hidden within her mind.

Sydney entered the safehouse, and found the three men standing in the next room. She stood in the doorway as she caught the end of their conversation, discussing her loyalty. She felt a pang in her stomach. She left the doorway, hoping that they hadn't registered her presence. She took a seat on the couch, she felt jet lagged from her flight. She heard the sound of footsteps approaching her, she wondered whether to feel threatened, but she stayed relaxed as Simon joined her on the couch. He slid closer to her, and reached over her for the remote. She changed her position to rest her head on his shoulder, she could feel sleep approaching.

"Let's see what's on the telly" he said as he flicked it on.

He surfed through the channels, searching for something that sparked his interest. He stopped on the news channel as a familiar location appeared on screen. Syd's battle with sleep ended as the television made sure that she was fully awake. She felt Simon's shoulder stiffen as the images played across the screen.

"Javier, Avery ..."

They entered the room as a reporter recounted what had happened just hours ago at the warehouse they would have been in. Simon let out a breath, half in disbelief, half in relief. Interpol had raided the warehouse searching for terrorists. She was right, she had saved their lives. She was telling the truth, and it was the second time that he had doubted her since she had returned to him. Javier snorted and left the room, closely followed by Avery. This didn't change anything, he still didn't trust her.

"You were right," he said as he began to stroke her hair.

Her need for sleep was quickly returning. She murmured in response to his words, as she slowly gave in to sleep. She felt comforted by his presence beside her. She felt safe, even if her life was in danger just by being near him. Simon felt the full weight of her head on his shoulder as she slowly began to slide down.

"Julia?" He softly asked

"Simon?" Sydney replied as she slowly began to awake. She heard him call for her. She opened her eyes and scanned the room to find that she was alone. It was just a dream. But was it? Sydney frowned, she was sure that her dream was reality, at least at some point in her time. She was regaining her memory through dreams... At least these dreams were more comforting than those nightmares she was having when she first woke up after her two year absence. She wondered what happened next, she needed to know more and hoped to find more soon.

_Is there anyone out there?  
Is there anyone now?  
All I need are the details  
Just to find a way out_


	3. This Photograph is Proof

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**Killer Instinct:**

**Chapter 3:** _This Photograph is Proof_

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He sat on his own within the cold room, each wall was painted white. A perfect white roomvoid of imperfections. He had been there for almost an hour, channeling his thoughts, composing himself, getting ready for what was about to happen... It wasn't hard. His surroundings aided him in becoming cold, dark, void of all passion. His jaw was set, teeth slightly clenched, his arms folded in front of him. The intense anger he held previously had dissolved for now. He was ready. 

The sound of footsteps slightly broke his concentration, the thought of Sydney being lead to him made his heart beat faster than normal. He shut his eyes tightly, repeating to himself, _"You can do this, you can do this..." _The door opened quickly, ambient noises from the house filled the previously silent room, but he ignored it. He needed to keep his mind focused on the task at hand. He watched from the corner of his eye as Sydney was led to the chair across from him. In moments they were alone within the silent room. Part of him wanted to help her, to break her out of here. But the rest of him needed to find closure with this. He could feel her eyes upon him, burning into him, yearning to ask questions, but she remained quiet. And so did he.

_Well, i'll wait till you listen  
I wont say a word  
to follow your instincts  
just never worked for me_

He focused on the bundle of documents before him, the incriminating evidence... He chained his line of thought, he didn't want to venture down that path again. It angered him to believe that the CIA had their mind set that Sydney was a terrorist. It angered him even more, knowing that he was believing the same thing. He tried to keep an open mind, but the evidence spoke to him, whispered to him, telling him that it was truth. So much for an open mind. He allowed himself to glance up at Sydney. She sat no more than a meter from him, her hands in her lap, concern etched across her features. She still had no idea.

_you're silent but strong, (yeah, I'm playing that card)  
and you're noticing nothing again _

Sydney felt his eyes upon her, and returned the glance. This was frustrating. She was torn up, and she was more than certain that her emotions were clearly displayed on her face. But he sat there, cold, distant. Two years really does change things. The events of her dream replayed in her mind. She tried, desperately to search for more memories such as that one, but she had no luck. She gazed down upon the pile in front of Vaughn. Were they more photographs? What has she done? She almost broke the silence but was beaten by his movement. He shifted his weight before clearing his throat. He was ready to begin.

He shifted forward, opening the folder before him. He removed a small bundle of papers, and passed a copy of the documents across the table to Syd. She looked at him before retrieving the documents. He watched her intently as she began to read, watching for her reaction to the text. Her eyes widened as she read on, and he found that he could no longer watch her. He glanced at the white wall behind her, trying to regain that cold, hard mind of thought.

"You hold in your hand one of many reports which documents you're association with Simon Walker. You will find that each accusation, each claim concerning your actions is supported by the proper documentations..." He said as he flipped through his copy.

Sydney couldn't bring herself to speak. She held her gaze upon the documents, her eyes tearing up. According to this, she was a part of a team that infiltrated a Russian weaponry warehouse, and removed several weapons which were later used against the Russian government. She turned the page to find photograph after photograph of destruction. Photos filled with images of damaged buildings, rubble and debris scattered everywhere. How could she be a part of this? It was against everything she had ever known, what she had believed in. She reached the final photograph, a surveillance image from the warehouse clearing showing her in the company of Simon. She shook her head softly, not allowing herself to believe what was in front of her.

Vaughn couldn't help but look at her regardless of whether or not he wanted to. He wanted to comfort her, to put his arms around her... But he couldn't. She had committed these crimes after all, she was working with the enemy, working for the very people he was fighting against. He moved this set of documents aside as he reached for the next bundle. Again he slipped a copy across to Sydney. She slowly pushed the other documents aside and reached for the new set, her reaction delayed.

She hesitated as she reached to turn the page, afraid of what she might find. He noted her hesitation, she clearly didn't remember anything. He turned the page, following her actions.

"You can see here..." He began.

"I can read it on my own..." She said dismissively, her voice harsh and distant.

He stared at her wide eyed, almost in shock. He made a mental note, "I won't make that mistake again..." He scanned the page in front of him, refreshing his memory of the events it recounted. Several artifacts stolen from a German museum, traded with militants for an instruction manual of some kind. Guards from the museum were killed during the robbery, several civilians as well... and she was there beside Simon as these events played out. He shook his head. From the comment she had just made, he could picture here, hate and anger in her eyes, killing the innocent for personal gain. He could feel his own anger rise once again as his eyes focused in on one of the victims, a young blond haired girl, no older than ten. He shut the document, waiting for Sydney to do the same.

"Would you like me to continue? Or do you get the picture..." He said, almost matching the harshness of Sydney's voice.

She glared at him, tears still present within her eyes waiting to fall down her cheeks. She still didn't believe what was before her, she couldn't. Innocent lives...innocent people murdered, and for what? So she could possibly salvage some information on her missing years? She would never do that... Wouldn't, and couldn't.

"Give me everything you have," she said coldly.

She waited as copies of documents were passed to her. She quickly scanned the next few, looking at the photographs, the recounts of what she had done, what she had been a part of. Soon she couldn't take anymore. Was all this death and destruction worth it? She scoffed at herself, worth what exactly? She still had no memory of her last two years and had no idea what she had done in the last few weeks with Simon Walker. She moved the documents to the side of the table. She tried to process the information she had just received. The CIA believed that she was working with the enemy. She couldn't deny anything written in those reports, but she couldn't accept them either. She couldn't help but blame herself, it was her fault, all of this. IF she hadn't of trusted Simon, if she hadn't of worked with him again...She shook her head, she didn't like regret.

_Now I'm lying on the table  
with everything you said  
it will all catch up eventually  
well, it caught up and honestly  
the weight of my decisions  
were impossible to hold  
but they were never yours  
they were never yours_

She turned her attention to Vaughn. She wondered what he was thinking... and what he thought of her. She knew he was hating her, she could tell by his facial expression, how he was sitting...she just knew. She drew in a deep breath, she still had questions, and she still needed answers.

"Why don't I remember anything? Why don't I remember doing this" She asked as she placed a hand upon the documents.

"When we extracted you, you were tranquilized, the effects should have worn off by now..." He said, trailing off. He didn't look at her, he kept his eyes focused on the table.

"We? You extracted me...Where from? What did you use to tranquilize me? Is Simon..."

"Yes, I was there. You were in an apartment in Italy." He replied before she could finish her questions.

"And Simon?" She inquired.

"So there is an interest." He scoffed.

She let his comment slip, "Why would you extract me, and not take him into custody for everything he has done?"

"He wasn't there..." He trailed off, trying to build up the courage to ask his next question, the question he had been ordered to ask. "Where is he?"

"You've got to be kidding me. Is that the whole point? You're just trying to find him? I don't know where he is. I don't even know where I was. I can't believe you.." She said before standing, "We're done."

"No, we're not." He said as he blocked her path towards the doorway. She glared at him, waiting for him to move. Soon he buckled, and had the guard escort her back to her room. He turned back into the room, frustrated. He really hadn't accomplished anything. But he knew how pointless this was. If she didn't remember anything, how could he possibly find out anything new? He couldn't understand Sydney, her motives, her actions...

_I know you know, everything_

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Sorry I didn't update sooner! I lost my muse..but it's back again. I know it's pretty confusing but hopefully I'll make everything clearer in the next few parts. Thanks to everyone whose read this, please review and let me know what ya think! It really puts me in the mood to write more. 

/ Britt


	4. You Can Run, But We'll Find You

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**Killer Instinct:**

**Chapter 4:** _You Can Run, But We'll Find You  
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Sydney stared at the window, watching the rain drops trickle down the glass, each racing the other towards the end. The street lights beyond were a blur of colors. She could see the world continuing on beyond the window, continuing on without her. She was a prisoner, stuck in that cold room, imprisoned by the people that she worked for, the people she trusted and one of the people that she had loved. She wanted to hate him, but really she knew that she hated herself more. The pictures, the reports, as much as she wanted them to be a forgery, deep down she knew otherwise.

_Have you, have you been keeping secrets from me?  
Hoped I wouldn't find out  
And you'd just go free  
There's a whole world outside your window pane  
And I've got scars to prove it_

One night had passed since she'd been with Vaughn, since he'd shown her what she had done. She'd seen his disgust, she'd seen how cold he could be, and she knew he wasn't the Vaughn she used to know and love, just as she wasn't the same person she used to be. Two years changes a person, she'd realized that earlier. She still had so many unanswered questions, and that pile of questions was gaining some friends.

What the hell had she done since that meeting with Simon? Since the day she'd warned them, since she'd risked her life to save Simon and his men? She'd risked it all then just for the possibility of finding out about those years, she was certain she would've done a whole lot more to secure that information. But the more she thought about it the more certain she became that she hadn't committed the crimes she'd been accused of, the crimes she was being held for. She knew someone who could help her. The same person who held the answers to her two years, the same person she'd been prior to her arrest….Simon.

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Simon sat at the large wooden dining table, maps and various documents spread out in front of him...the perfect plan. He breathed in deep, filling his lungs with fresh air, hoping that the oxygen would reduce the feeling in his stomach. He wasn't sure what it was, whether it was nerves or excitement, or maybe a mixture of both. Either way, there were only 20 minutes until this plan would be initiated, until he'd have what was his back in his possession. He gathered the papers and locked them away in a black leather briefcase. He called his men, Alistair and Gabriel, his newest recruits since the unfortunate and untimely death of Javier and Avery, and double checked that everything was in place. He smiled, knowing that within the hour he would have what was his, and things would go back to the way they were before.

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Sydney leant against the head of the bed and stared directly forward. She could still picture the vague images of people, the vague memories that were somewhere, trapped within her mind. She needed to find them, she needed to remember, and she just didn't know how she could do that. She'd tried to sleep, to dream about the past but she didn't recover anything new. She fought the urge to break down into tears. She couldn't help but remember those photos and one photo in particular. The one of the blond haired girl stuck with her, just one of the innocent faces of those she'd helped to kill, whether she liked it or not. She drew her knees to her chest and hugged them as tightly as possible. Had she become what she'd feared for so long? Had she become her mother?

She tried to clear her head, tried to think of anything but this. She rested her head against her folded arms, trying desperately to sleep. At least then she might be left alone in the darkness. She closed her eyes. A loud bang. Her eyes snapped open as muffled voices yelled commands, another few seconds and gunfire rang out throughout the house. She sprang from the bed. What the hell was going on? Suddenly it went quiet. Then she heard the sound of bodies hitting the floor, and then footsteps. The footsteps grew louder, before shadows moved beneath the doorway. She moved back, away from the doorway and behind the wardrobe.

The door was kicked open and they entered the room. She watched two masked figures go directly to the bed, guns drawn, ready to fire. A third entered the room.

"Alright boys." He said, that familiar accent sending chills down Sydney's spine.

She suddenly realized what had just happened. She felt a cold sinking feeling in her stomach. Simon moved into view, his balaclava in his hand and his gun at his side.

"Hello sweetheart," he said coolly, as though they'd just happened to have run into each other.

"What did you?" She asked, almost unable to bring herself to ask.

"What I had to." He replied simply, "Now come on, we've got a plane to catch," he said as he reached for her arm.

She pulled it back.

"Oh come on love. You want to stay here? With a bunch of corpses? They can't tell you what you want to know…they can't show you…"

She glared at him. "How dare you." She couldn't believe he'd done this for her. And how he expected her to run, to leave this house full of dead CIA agents where she was being held as a suspect. She couldn't do it, she couldn't leave.

"You need to come with us. You can't stay here, you know what they'll do to do." He said, knowing that she'd eventually break, she always did when it came to him. He just needed to be patient. "Don't you want to know why you can't remember our, recent little time together?"

She narrowed her gaze. He was blackmailing her. She knew it. But right now, he really was the only one that could help her. The CIA wasn't going to. Who else did she have? She didn't even know where her own father was during all of this. She looked past Simon at his two, unfamiliar henchmen. One held a white cloth. She didn't need 20 questions to figure out what it was. She could go willingly, or they'd have to force her along. She sighed.

"Fine."

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Vaughn glared out the window as the world continued on outside. He watched the cars go past and the clouds slowly creep across the sky. Time continued, although it felt like all time had stopped within that safe house. Agents had died that day. Good agents, truthful, trustworthy, loyal agents. _Unlike her_. He almost growled. He knew it all along. It was all there in front of him, in print, in pictures, it was staring him in the face and he still allowed himself to try to ignore it. Of course Simon and Sydney were working together, the facts were there, and yet he had hoped that it had been false. Sitting in that room earlier, watching her reaction to the information he was feeding her, it had been hard for him, harder than she knew. Her reactions were so real, so damn real. She'd tricked him, he honestly had begun to think that she didn't remember it at all, that maybe he'd somehow tricked her into it, maybe drugged her, hypnotized her...but stupid him for believing that anything about her was true.

He shifted his weight and winced. The sudden movement caused a rush of blood to his wounded shoulder. That bastard had shot him, a simple flesh wound, but it had immobilized him. It had prevented him from stopping them...from saving the others...He took a step away from the window and went back into the tiny world within that house...the world that had stopped. Blood stained the walls and floors. Agents crawled the interior, taking photos and evidence, questioning those lucky enough to still be alive. He couldn't stand to be in that house, not anymore. It was killing him knowing that she was with him, that all along it had been the two of them, and both of them were responsible for the deaths of those agents. He looked down at the bandage around his arm where a bullet had clipped him. He silently made a vow as he crossed the threshold of the house. He'd get them. He'd find them, and he'd make them pay for all that they'd done.

_But you should have known,  
you should have known,  
you should have known,  
you should have known_

_You can run, but we'll find you_

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If you couldn't tell, I almost gave up on this, not because I lost interest in this story but just because of my lack of interest in Alias anymore. But receiving reviews even now after not updating for so long, it made me want to get interested again, so I re-watched my fav eps and started writing again. For those of you who were waiting for this, I'm sorry for taking so long, hopefully it'll end up being worth the wait. Lemme know what y'all thought of this chapter. / **Britt**


	5. She's The Blade

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**Killer Instinct:**

**Chapter Five :** _She's the Blade_

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_She's the blade, she's the blade, she's the blade..._

Simon leant back in the armchair as he watched her chest rise and fall. He almost felt as though he was invading her privacy, as though things weren't they way they used to be between them. But deep down he didn't believe this. She was so peaceful, so tranquil now, a stark contrast from her behavior on the plane. He took her cold accusations in silence. He let her rid herself of her anger, after all, he loved her and all he could do was try to understand.

He leant forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he continued to observe her, almost worried that if he looked away she might disappear. He couldn't bear to lose her, not now, and not after all they'd been through…after all he'd done for her. He thought back, recalling the moment she'd come back to him in the bar, when he'd joined the time once again. Being informed of her true identity had torn him apart. He'd left his hotel room with his mind set on killing her, making her pay for the fool that she'd made of him. But his rage had simmered down and he'd decided to forgive her, silently forgive her and continue on with Julia. He couldn't bear to lose her, he knew how hard it had been when she'd disappeared, and the emotions he'd felt when she'd returned to him.

Simon wasn't the heartless assassin and thief so many had defined him as. He'd given Julia her life. It wasn't the smartest thing he'd ever done, but it was one of the first things he'd ever done with his heart and not his head. Giving Julia her life had only been the beginning in a series of events that proved his love for her, whether she'd truly recognized that or understood his actions. He'd vowed, after learning of 'Sydney's' lost years that he'd help her find her memories, that he'd help her remember her time with him. He also spared the life of Jack Bristow, knowing full well the true identity of the man he was meeting in that warehouse. He'd let the man walk away from the meet, and he'd done it for her, and no one else.

Simon had killed his own men in her name. He hated their attitude towards her. They may have been right, but that didn't give them the permission to say the things they'd so often said about her. One afternoon Javier and Avery had said their last disdainful comment about her. They'd apologized to him, but Simon wouldn't have it. Two bullets later his men were disposed of, for her. He'd even carried out his plan and saved her fromCIA custody, killing several agents in the process.

Simon knew what she'd been through, at least for a small period during those two years, and he'd shown her all that he knew. All of this had been erased, which meant that he'd have to show her again, show her their achievements, all that they'd accomplished _together_. His jaw clenched at the thought of the CIA, and those operatives who dared to take her from him, to inject her with drugs, to accuse her, and to belittle her. Whatever they'd done to her, it didn't matter anymore. He moved to her side and gently moved a strand of hair from her face as she continued to sleep. His Julia was with him once again, and this time he wasn't going to let her go.

-----------------------------

Simon leafed through the newspaper pages searching for anything worth reading. He set the paper down, disappointed with the lack of interesting news, and heard the sound of footsteps as they echoed down the staircase. He smiled. She was awake. Sydney slowly made her way down the stairs and found herself in a large open room. She was tense, trying to stay on high alert, ready for anything that might happen. For some reason she still felt a slight hint of fear in his house. She didn't know if he could be trusted, if he really had just let the fact that she was CIA slide. She scanned the room, but no Simon. She headed towards a corridor, hoping to find him, hoping to ask him so many questions.

She stopped at the end of a long table that was almost as long as the room itself. There he sat at the head of the table, watching her. Simon's smile grew a little wider as she moved closer to him. She paused almost a meter from him, keeping her distance…she obviously didn't trust him. He'd have to work on that.

"Why didn't you kill me?" She asked straight out. She didn't want to waste her time with pleasantries, and not with him.

"You know why, Julia." He responded.

She frowned. She didn't know. Maybe she had, once, but with yet another case of memory loss she really had no idea why he'd spared her, why she was still breathing at all let alone staying with him in his house.

"There's something I want to show you." Simon began as he stood and signalled for her to follow him. They entered a small room beneath another staircase. The desk within was littered with papers, documents of various kinds. She wondered what they were. He reached into the drawer and pulled out a folder. He held it close to him as he looked back at her. "I showed you this once before. You need to see it again. I hope it answers some of your questions." He said with sincerity as he handed it to her.

Sydney took the folder and sat at the desk. Simon watched her from the doorway for a moment. He remembered her reaction the first time she'd seen it. He'd watched her from a distance; he'd seen how it had affected her, and how it had caused her shoulders to shake as she let her emotions consume her. He couldn't watch that again. He couldn't bear to see her like that, and he couldn't bear the thought of knowing that it was because of him. Something else hurt him more…but he didn't want to let it occupy his thoughts. It pained him, and he didn't need to deal with it again. He gently closed the door behind himself and left her alone.

-----------------------------

Sydney closed the folder as she stared down at the back cover through blurred vision. The tears stung her eyes as she wiped them away. The file was almost identical to the CIA file, with a few minor changes, and a few deletions which Simon must have erased to spare her from feeling the way she did at that very moment. The repetitive nature of both files confirmed that the contents were true, that she had done those things, committed those crimes with Simon and his men, and she appeared to have done them all for the purpose of finding out about those two years. She was getting sick of just the thought of it now. Was this all worth it? There would now be something extra to add to the file. Those agents, those innocent men had been killed because of her, _for_ her.

But what could she do now? Everything had been committed, there was no erasing, no reversing time, nothing to take back what she'd done. Now she had to live with it, either with Simon, or in a CIA cell. With all that he'd done for her, she couldn't just leave Simon. At the same time she couldn't go on murdering innocent people. She was faced with a decision, and it wasn't the kind of decision that could be processed in seconds. She'd need time, days, maybe even weeks to find herself at a conclusion. Until then, she wanted to do her best to forget about everything that had happened in the past and look to the future. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to go back to being Julia.

Thoughts of me exemplified  
All the little flaws I have denied  
Forget today, forget whatever happened  
Everyday I see a little more of overall deficiencies  
I'm nothing short of being one complete catastrophe

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A/N: For a little more detailed account of Simon's dealing with Julia's identity can be found in one of my other fic's called Hysteria. Thanks for the reviews, I'm glad y'all are still interested. I'm definitely back into this, I might even begun another Alias fic once this is completed. The title isfrom Sugarcult and the lyrics towards the end are _Diluted_ by Slipknot./ **Britt**


	6. Like Violence

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**Killer Instinct:**

**Chapter 6:** _Like Violence_

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Simon watched her from the doorway as she dressed for their next job. He smiled. He'd forgotten how it felt to have her with him. It seemed like life had finally returned to normal, or as close to normal as it could get. She'd changed, something within her was different. She wasn't the Julia that he once knew, sure traces of her remained, but he couldn't help but notice the subtle differences, and the not so subtle...He'd allowed himself to entertain certain thoughts...certain regrets...but he immediately shut them down. It was like having Javier and Avery around again, only inside his head. He knew he should've done away with them sooner. 

She fixed her hair in front of the mirror, oblivious to his presence. He smiled. The way she tied her hair back, the way she applied her make up...Julia...But something in her face changed as she stared at her reflection. He frowned. He'd kill to know what she was thinking, to understand what was going on with her. He didn't dare ask her. The last time he'd questioned Julia almost two years ago she'd locked him outside of their cabin in the Swiss Alps in the middle of a blizzard, dressed in nothing but boxer shorts. He chuckled at the memory.

She turned around to find him watching her. She wondered how long he'd been standing there. It tore at her how easily she let herself trust him, how easily she relaxed and let her guard down. Almost three weeks had passed. She was doing her best to go back to being Julia, but the task was harder than she'd first imagined. She had no memory of her time with Simon, her time as Julia, and so she didn't know how to act like her, how to talk like her, how to become her again. She was still alive, so she mustn't have been doing too badly.

"So, are you ready?" Simon asked as he looked her up and down.

"You know I'm always ready for anything," she said as she moved closer to him and planted a kiss on his lips.

"That's my girl." He said as he placed an arm around her waist and escorted her out of the room.

-----------------------------

Simon spoke on his phone as Sydney watched from the other end of the plane. She was going over the file one last time. They had a job to do, and she still couldn't shake the nerves that had suddenly surfaced. They'd pulled off two jobs in the past three weeks, and each time she was sure the CIA were attempting to trace her location. She knew that she and Simon hadn't made it easy for them, they'd covered their tracks and taken every precaution, but she still believed that this would be the last straw, and after they'd finished this job they'd find her. Sydney didn't know what she dreaded more, facing the CIA or having to leave Simon behind. She didn't like to think about it, but she knew that eventually it would be inevitable. She couldn't hide away forever. He couldn't protect her forever. One day they'd be torn apart.

She snapped out of her thoughts as Simon's phone conversation became heated. She couldn't hear what he was saying but the person on the receiving end was getting an ear-full. Simon wasn't happy. She turned her attention back to the file and the objectives were set out before her. It would be relatively simple, almost an in and out job thanks to their connections on the inside...but when something like plutonium was involved, things were never _that _simple. But that wasn't what she was nervous about…

-----------------------------

They set themselves up across from the base they would soon enter. He watched her as she readied herself for the job; checking and re-checking her weapons, making sure that everything was as perfect as it could be…She may have changed, her morals might have shifted slightly, but when it came to business she was still the same. He opened his briefcase and removed the lining to reveal a compartment below. He removed the weapons…he still couldn't believe what he held in his hands; two tranquilizer guns. How she'd talked him into it…he really didn't have a clue other than the fact that it was Julia who'd asked him, or rather told him to change the weapons he used. Tranquilizer darts would knock the guards out, keep them out of the way and minimize injuries and deaths…that's what she wanted. Live bullets were only used as a last resort. Suddenly the lives of those who stood in their way meant more than just being the hurdles they had to concur. He admired her for it, and yet it was another obvious change in his Julia…

-----------------------------

Simon and Julia entered the bank in Amsterdam, both heavily armed and ready for the heavily armored security guards inside. He shot into the air, warning shots. The people scattered, all of them dropping to the floor and crying out in panic. The frightened civilians stared at them in fear, each of them wondering if they'd make it out alive. He glanced across at her and she smiled. The cashiers slowly moved from behind their desks as they were told, although both he and Julia knew that the silent alarm had already been tripped. Footsteps echoed throughout the foyer of the bank as heavy boots hit the marble floors...the cavalry was coming. They both lifted their guns and aimed in the direction of the footsteps. He silently counted in his head and knew that she was doing the same.

_5, 4, 3, 2, 1_...The first of the guards appeared and the sound of gunfire echoed throughout the bank. They aimed at the areas of the guards that were obviously unarmored, and within seconds had taken down every single one of them. That only left those who remained guarding the vault. With his heart pounding in his head he struggled to focus, but he followed her lead. She stepped over the bodies of the guards, paying them little attention as she passed.

_Can't count all the eyes that stare,  
can't count all the things they see,  
she kills with no life to spare,  
just victims are left to bleed_

He snapped out of the memory. Things definitely had changed. He just wasn't sure whether they'd changed for the better…or the worst.

-----------------------------

Sydney breathed a sigh of relief. She'd done her part, and now she had to wait for Simon. She turned around to see the bodies of the security guards that littered the floor. She watched their chests slowly rise and fall…they were alive. She still felt a pang of guilt. They were innocent people doing their jobs, and she, she was a not so innocent person doing her job. But that didn't justify anything. She sighed as she gripped her stomach, trying to get rid of the nerves that still remained. She knew it wasn't the drugged guards that were bothering her…it was the plutonium. She had no problem stealing pieces of art, artifacts, scientific equipment…they were really just trivial items. But plutonium…she knew they weren't just going to use it as a radioactive paper weight. This time she wasn't sure she'd be able to save the innocent lives of bystanders. She hated the Covenant. And she couldn't handle knowing that she'd helped them acquire it, let alone be responsible for the deaths of possibly hundreds or thousands of innocent people.

As she stood there waiting for Simon's return she realized that she couldn't do this anymore. She knew it all along but this was just too much. She needed to do something.

-----------------------------

Simon stroked her hair as she slept. They'd pulled of their job without any hitches, they really were great thieves, as Sark liked to call them. He remained wide awake as he listened to Julia breath. Something wasn't right. He didn't know if his own guilty conscience was getting the better of him or if there really was something going on with her. She'd been almost completely silent on the return trip home. She'd distanced herself and he wasn't entirely sure why. Maybe she sensed what was going on…maybe she knew what he was being asked to do…He shook his head. He couldn't bare to think about it now.

He looked down at her as she slept peacefully. He let his mind fill with the memories of their past together. He felt guilty knowing that he alone possessed those memories; she on the other hand had no idea. He wondered if her lack of memory affected her attraction towards him, her feelings and emotions. Surely, deep down she remembered something, maybe the remnants of a memory, an emotion, something she'd shared with him. Otherwise she wouldn't be there with him, she would have returned to the CIA, to that life that had been chosen for her. Instead she chose this, she chose him, and he had that in mind as he drifted off to sleep.

_Like violence you have me, forever, and after._

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Thanks for the reviews! I'm going to have less time to update, but I'll make sure I update by the weekend. I have another 2-3 parts planned, but let me know if you think I'm dragging it out or not doing enough. I know what I want to happen in the last part but there's a bunch of ways I can get there. Let me know if I should hurry up and get to the end or continue on a little longer. Lyrics are Blink-182. Thanks for reading / **Britt**


	7. Shadows

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**Killer Instinct**

_Chapter 7: Shadows_

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Simon carried the briefcase in his gloved hand as he crossed the parking lot and headed towards the rear entrance of the warehouse. He felt the weight of the briefcase become heavier and heavier with each step, but it wasn't its contents that weighed it down. It was his conscience...something he'd never really had to deal with. Nothing had bothered him before; he was always focused on the job, on his objectives, and never on what was sacrificed during the process. But now things had changed. He watched his breath hit the cold air and become steam as he sighed heavily.

He paused outside the heavy steel door. He dreaded what awaited him within the walls of the empty warehouse. A few seconds passed before he turned the handle and went inside. Sark stood at the opposite end of the warehouse, shrouded in shadow. Simon immediately didn't like the situation. He liked to be fully aware of his surroundings, but the shadows created blind spots. His footsteps echoed throughout the warehouse as he quickly closed the space between himself and his 'boss'.

"I trust that you have the plutonium."

Simon lifted the briefcase and handed it to Sark, "you know we always get the job done."

"Yes, you do don't you? And will you be able to uphold that record?"

Simon nodded, "nothing gets in between me and a job."

Sark smiled. That was the difference between people such as themselves, and people like Sydney Bristow. Nothing stood in the way of what they wanted. Sark was still amazed at how easily Simon had been able to tame Sydney, to change her from the model CIA agent to a thief and a cold-blooded killer...although Sark did have his doubts about that last part. "I see...Well, you already know what has to be done, you only need the perfect opportunity, and I'm going to give it to you..."

-----------------------------

Sydney stared past the television screen and past the images that flashed across it as she tried to figure out her situation. She knew what she wanted to do, but she also knew that she couldn't do it on her own...she needed help, and that's what currently occupied her thoughts. She couldn't trust the CIA, as soon as she made her location known by contacting them, they'd have her arrested. And she still wasn't entirely sure that she could trust Simon. Sure he hadn't shown her any reason why she shouldn't be able to, and yet she still couldn't commit herself to it. For all she knew he'd shoot her where she stood if he even had the smallest idea as to what she had been thinking the past few days.

She stretched out on the couch and held a pillow tightly to her chest. This wasn't about her anymore. Sure there were still holes missing from those two years, but what were they worth now? Was her quest for her missing memories worth the lives that had been lost due to her pursuit of it? She'd seen the photos, the files, and she'd come to accept that learning anything more about that time may be memories that she would be better off without. She couldn't deal with it anymore, and she couldn't bare the thought of more innocent people dying because of her selfish pursuit for truth and memory. She couldn't deal with the fact that plutonium she'd help steal from a base was being given to Sark at that very moment, that she'd helped the Covenant obtain such a potentially dangerous item.

Sydney shook her head as she thought through the plans she'd already made in her mind. She'd missed her chance to take the plutonium from Simon, and she was certain there would be no chance of her getting it from Sark, which only left the chance of retrieving it from the Covenant...and that seemed near impossible. She didn't even know who was controlling the Covenant let alone where they were based. She hated being in the dark, and how the facts that could be considered to be the most important were hidden from her in a veil of shadows. The only connections were Simon, and Sark. She shuddered to think that her latest mistake may not be reverted, that the Covenant would use the plutonium for any number of things that would inevitably result in the deaths of people. She stood. This wasn't going to happen...not if she could have anything to do with it.

-----------------------------

Simon dropped his keys on the table as he headed towards the stairs. He hoped that she wasn't home, that he didn't have to deal with his guilt in her presence. It was hard enough dealing without having her there staring him in the face. He climbed the first few steps before she called for him from the other room. He paused. She'd heard him come in. He couldn't pretend that he didn't hear her; he couldn't act any differently than he normally would, otherwise she'd notice, and then she'd know...

She waited for him at the end of the long dining table, a bottle of tequila set down in front her own, un-opened and ready to be drunk.

"How'd it go?" She asked from the other end of the room.

He removed his coat and draped it over a chair as he moved to her side and nodded, "fine."

Simon paused as he noticed the bottle of tequila in front of her. He smiled at the memories triggered by the bottle, by that very label and brand of tequila...of a time when Julia and he...he snapped out of it as he realized that it was the same brand that they'd shared before. How did she know that? He didn't have any tequila in the house, so she had to have gone out and bought that particular brand. Did she remember? Or was it a coincidence? He didn't care...the fact that it was there, that she'd chosen that specific bottle was another subtlety that made him certain that she remembered something, whether she was aware of it or not. Another pang of guilt struck him as he considered that things may be closer to normal than he'd originally thought...and this only hurt more knowing what Sark had ordered him to do.

Simon realized that she'd disappeared while he'd focused his attention entirely upon the bottle. Moments later she returned back from the kitchen with the salt and lime, but she didn't feel like the tequila anymore. She didn't want to get him drunk before telling him what was on her mind. She wanted him sober, and she wanted him to be fully aware of what she was saying. She placed the items on the table in front of them before taking a seat beside him. She took in a deep breathe...who knew if it'd be her last.

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Thanks to you guys who are reading and reviewing! Always gives me a kick knowing people are liking my writing. This would've been up earlier but I couldn't log in. Hopefully I'll be able to have this finished by this time next week. As always let me know what y'all thought, I love feedback. / **Britt**


	8. Vow

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**Killer Instinct**

_Chapter 8: Vow_

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Simon snapped awake as the sound of his phone rang throughout the silent darkness. He fumbled through the dark as he found his phone and left the room to answer it.

"Hello," he said as he rubbed his eyes. He really didn't know how he'd managed to fall asleep. He imagined that the bottle of tequila had been the main contributing factor.

"Simon..." Sark began. Simon's heart stuck in his throat. "I was going to wait until tomorrow, but I wanted to tell you now that the Covenant is impressed with the work you've done for them previously, and to show their appreciation, my superiors wish for you to head the next operation." Sark finished.

Simon struggled to find his voice. For a moment he'd thought that the call was for something else entirely, that somehow they'd known about his conversation with Julia...He frowned...Sydney.

"That's great," he finally managed, " do I need to put a team together? Or does the Covenant already have preferred people for the job?"

"They request that the usual team takes on the operation. Details about the operation will be sent to you in the morning. Look over them and be ready. Everything needs to run smoothly." Sark said before hanging up.

Simon frowned. Sark didn't sound like himself, but that wasn't what was really bothering him. He took a seat at the table, the table where she'd told him everything, where she'd let him understand what was going on in her mind, and where he wished she'd never told him at all. The bottle of tequila remained, although only a few shots remained in the bottle. He didn't want to think about any of this now. He reached for the bottle and took a swig as he went back to the darkness of the room.

-----------------------------

Sydney stared at the ceiling. She replayed the conversation over and over in her mind. She still didn't fully understand what had happened, and why she was still there, in his house, alive. She felt at ease, as strange as that feeling was given the situation. Now he knew, and now she didn't have to hide her thoughts from him. She hoped he'd feel the freedom to do the same with her, s something was obviously on his mind, even behind their conversation. Even though she felt as though a weight had been lifted from her shoulders, something still weighed her down. She didn't know whether she should stay or go. But where would she go? And what would she do about the Covenant? She'd vowed that she'd stop this, and she couldn't do that if she cut off all ties with them.

The sun slowly inched its way up over the horizon. Sydney couldn't bare to stay in that room any longer, she felt trapped. She quickly dressed and was ready to leave for a walk but found Simon downstairs, documents spread out across the space in front of him. She slowly approached, wondering whether or not the documents were for his eyes only.

Simon stiffened as he noticed her enter the room. He tried to relax, but that just didn't seem possible anymore. She stopped a few meters from the table, waiting for an invitation to join him, or for a sign that she should leave.

"You should see these." He said as he lifted a folder identical to the one in front of him and slid it across to her. "We've got ourselves our biggest job yet." He said, trying to pretend as though last night hadn't happened, that he didn't know...

Sydney was surprised, but still, she took a seat and flipped open the folder. She'd learned to dread the stupid things, and this very folder was no exception. Before her, Covenant documents detailed the methods they would undertake to plant, secure, and detonate the plutonium beneath a prominent Swiss bank. _Why the bank? Why there? _She couldn't help but wonder what the Covenant's hidden agenda entailed, but she was certain she wouldn't get an answer to her questions. Instead she ignored them and continued on. This was the perfect opportunity...but how could she possibly carry it out? She needed help. _But who? _She looked up from the file at Simon, his focus concentrated on the documents.

She looked back down at the file. _No…I can't ask him for that. I don't deserve…and he definitely doesn't need to wrong the Covenant_. She couldn't bring herself to ask him for that kind of help, not after all he'd done for her. Simon glanced up at her, trying to pretend that he hadn't noticed the attention she'd just directed towards him. He knew this was bothering her. After all, she told him that she couldn't do it anymore. She'd said that she couldn't live like this, and she couldn't bring herself to serve the Covenant...not anymore. He wondered what she was thinking. She had to be devising some kind of plan. _Maybe she would betray me, or maybe_...His thoughts trailed off. Simon had made a decision in the early hours of the morning; a decision he knew he'd grow to regret, but at that point in time, it seemed like the only thing he could do...for her.

He abruptly closed the file and looked across at her, waiting for her to notice that he was staring at her. She lifted her gaze. Something was on his mind, and she was about to find out what it was. She didn't know what to expect.

"I know what you're thinking..."Simon began, "you're thinking of a way to stop this. You said you can't help them anymore, you can't stand to see another innocent person die for them...You took a risk telling me what you did, but you knew didn't you? You knew that I would understand if you told me...Julia..." He paused, letting the name hang in the air for a moment, "whatever you're planning...whatever you need me to do...I'll do it."

Simon realized that his previous thoughts had been wrong. He thought that as soon as the words left his mouth he'd regret them, that as soon as he revealed this to her, he'd doubt it all. But he felt no trace of regret. He loved her, he hoped she could see that. He believed in her more than she knew,a nd he was devoted to her, Julia, or Sydney, or whatever alias she was under, he still loved her more than he'd loved anything else in the world. And for that, hehad vowed togive up anything and everything to help her.

It only haunted him that he'd made such a vow while he still possessed the knowledge of what Sark wanted. Maybe he didn't need to tell her...maybe she never had to know..._only if I can stop it from happening..._

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So...I said I'd be finished a week ago, and there's still one more part to go. I've said it too many times but I'm sorry, life's been crazy. I did at least make this chapter less vague than I originally had it planned, although there is still a lot to be uncovered in the last part. Thanks for sticking with this so far, thanks for your patience and I hope you're still enjoying it. I'll update asap/ **Britt**


	9. The End Part One

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**Killer Instinct**

_Chapter 9:_ _The End Part One_

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Simon glanced across at her as she finished packing the remaining equipment into the black satchel laid out before her. He looked away as she returned the attention, feeling her gaze burning into him. He couldn't help but believe that somehow, she just knew. But he also knew that it was probably in his head. After all, around her, he never really could seem to keep his thoughts straight. He stared into the darkness of the bag in his hands. Mentally he checked off its contents before zipping it closed and turning to face her. 

"Here, I wanted to give you this..." He trailed off as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a tiny yellow envelope the size of a matchbook. "Don't open it until we're at the bank, okay?"

She nodded as she slipped the envelope into her pants pocket. For a second she wondered what it was, but all thoughts of the yellow envelope escaped her as they left the house and headed outside. Two black vans were parked before them. Sydney couldn't help but notice just how obvious these vehicles were. She shrugged it off as she loaded the bags into the first van and took her seat in the front passenger seat. Within minutes they were off, driving towards there next destination. It wouldn't be long before the latest mission had been placed into action.

* * *

Vaughn stared at his computer screen. The words that glowed in front of him sent chills down his spine, but a cloud of doubt formed in his mind. Why would anyone associated with the Covenant want the CIA to know their plans? How could anyone be that close to the Covenant and steal information without being detected? And how did Vaughn know that the information was legitimate, and not some kind of trap. That was a dilemma they often had to face...Either risk the lives of agents to save the lives of others, or do nothing, and risk losing the lives of others. He read the message over and over as he waited for the higher ranks to form a decision. 

The Covenant were going to attack a Swiss bank, and they had no interest in hostages...just casualties. Another chill shot down his spine. In that instant he reached a decision. His instincts told him that something wasn't right, and although he'd recently been shown just how wrong his instincts could be concerning a certain woman, he wasn't about to ignore it now. Regardless of the CIA's orders, he needed to go to the bank.

* * *

Simon leant back against the cool metal of the van's interior. He ran through the details of the operation through his mind, visualizing the folder and its contents, and then the other document which had only been seen by his eyes, and those of the person who'd written the orders. It seemed strange to him how such a small yellow envelope could contain such a document. In the years that had passed, a piece of paper had never seemed so important, so powerful and life threatening as that one had. He'd never cared before, and now that he did, he'd found new perspectives on his line of work. He looked down at the floor. Despite it all he still had a job to do, he still had orders to follow, and he was determined to get it done. Thoughts of the betrayal he would soon inflict meant nothing in comparison to the promises made. Simon would do his job, and he'd do it well. 

Sydney glanced into the back of the van where Simon and two other men sat. He hadn't been able to look at her all day, she'd noticed it, and she wondered what was to come in the hours ahead. For one of the first times in her life she had no control over anything. She didn't know how this would turn out, and she didn't know whether she could trust him, or even trust herself. The surrounding landscape passed them in a blur as the van sped towards their rendezvous point. Soon it would all be over.

* * *

Sark sat within the richly furnished hotel room in front of the newly set up computer equipment. Several screens monitored the interior of the bank, from the bank's basement to the foyer; everything could be seen from his base far from the bank. Everything was in place. He began to grow anxious as the seconds counted down to the end of it all. The people around him continued to check and re-check the equipment, further adding to his irritation. 

Beside him his cell phone began to ring. After 6 rings it stopped, and with the final ring the operation's commencement was confirmed. In no less than 2 minutes the plutonium would be within the bank, and in a few moments after the Covenant's message would be made known to the world.

* * *

The two black vans made their way through the busy streets as they inched closer and closer towards their fateful destination. Soon the bank was in sight and the two vans split from each other, one parking itself at the front entrance. The other turned into a tight fitting alley which ran alongside the bank's southern wall. The doors of the van slammed shut, the sound echoing throughout the surroundings as Simon, Sydney and the two other men loaded their gear and readied themselves for what was to come. The two men eyed Sydney, and she couldn't help but feel that they knew something that she didn't know. Simon had managed to hire another two men who had learned not the trust her. 

"Can you get that bag?" Simon said as he zipped up his jacket, gesturing into the back of the van.

Syd nodded before climbing into the van. She felt the weight of the van shift as someone else entered the van. She grabbed the bag and turned to find Simon behind her.

"Here," she said as she handed it to him. He seemed to hesitate before taking the bag and throwing it to the two men outside.

He turned back to her, watching her as she took a step towards him, but he blocked her path. He gave a quick glance back to the two men before returning his attention to her. A smile formed at the edges of his mouth.

"I'm sorry, _Julia_." He said as he drew his arm back and punched her as hard as he could, his fist connecting to the side of her face. The two men watched as she crumpled to the floor, and as Simon handcuffed her to the metal railing within the van.

* * *

Sark watched on his monitor as three masked figures dressed entirely in black stormed into the bank's foyer. With their guns raised they ordered the people within to drop to the floor. They removed all weaponry from security and moved behind the counter, preventing any kind of alarm from being triggered. He smirked as he watched the events play out before him, only wishing that he was there with them, but the Covenant wished for him to oversee the operation, not take part in it. 

He imagined Sydney at that point in time. The three within the bank were obviously the three men, Simon and the two others, indicating that Simon had followed orders and restrained Bristow in the back of the van, ready to be picked up by a third team which awaited his commands. He set them into motion as he continued to watch the monitor. Sark watched as Simon made his way down into the lower levels of the bank and began work on the large vault door. He then turned his attention to the adjacent monitor. All civilians had been gathered in the center of the foyer and guarded by the two men who had now been joined by the team from the second van.

Sark watched as he awaited the next phase of the operation. Simon soon had the vault door open and returned to the foyer. He then returned to the vault with another Covenant member and the plutonium, ready to set everything into place. The two disappeared from site as they entered the vault. Sark leant back in his seat. All he could do now was watch and wait.

* * *

Sark began to grow anxious as he waited for Simon to emerge from the vault and signal that everything was in place and ready to go. He looked down at his watch and remembered that soon the third team would have Sydney in custody, and not long after that she'd be in that room with him, ready to face her death. It disturbed him a little, knowing that soon she would be dead. He had a high level of respect for Sydney Bristow. It seemed like such a shame for her to be removed from the game, after all, she made things so much more interesting.

* * *

The third van pulled into the alley way. The men poured out of the vehicle with their weapons raised. They'd heard the stories about her, about what she was capable of, and they weren't willing to make any mistakes. Their task was simple. She'd already been restrained, they simply had to retrieve her and deliver her to Sark.But the most simple of tasks always seemed to be the ones that went horribly wrong. The five men surrounded the van; two covered the driver and passenger doors while 2 stood at each of the back doors, and the third in the middle, ready to open the doors. 

In one swift motion all of them opened the doors and entered quickly, using the element of surprise if she had something planned. The team leader entered the rear of the van, his gun aimed directly at the seemingly lifeless body of Sydney Bristow. He edged forward, monitoringher body as he drew closer and closer until he was standing right beside her. She was out cold.The two others entered the van behind him, ready for anything as the leader carefully rolled her over.

"Oh God..." He then cursed as he realized that the body wasn't Sydney Bristow but was one of their team members.

"Then where the hell is she?" Another exclaimed.


	10. The End Part Two

* * *

**Killer Instinct**

_Chapter 9: The End Part Two_

* * *

Simon unpacked his equipment on the table in the center of the vault. He removed his mask and breathed in a deep breath, relishing the fresh air in his lungs. He hated breathing through material, it was so constricting. He glanced over as she removed her mask and couldn't help but smile at how its removal had messed her hair. She set down the case on the table and looked down at it as it opened. He felt a wave of guilt as she turned her cheek and a flash of deep purple showed itself.

"I'm sorry..." He apologized. He'd hit her harder than he'd meant to.

She smiled and winced as her facial muscles beneath the bruise stretched, causing a bolt of pain. "I'm fine, it doesn't matter." She said as she looked down at the plutonium that rested carefully within the case.

It had been easy for her to get out of her restraints thanks to the handcuff key he'd given her earlier. It took her a moment to regain consciousness and free herself. Then all she had to do was wait for one of the men from the other van to check on her, as Simon had ordered them to do. She then took his place and brought herself back into the operation completely undetected. She still didn't understand fully why he'd helped her. He was risking so much by helping her. Simon opened one of his cases and pulled out a replicate of the plutonium. Carefully they switched the potentially dangerous form for the harmless form. They then set up the rest of the equipment in a way that would prevent anyone from knowing the difference, and readied themselves for the more difficult part of their plan.

They both put their masks back on and exited the vault. They headed back through the winding corridors towards the foyer. Simon gripped the case containing the true plutonium in his hand. It felt like a weight, much heavier than its material mass. What he held in his hand had the potential to end so many lives, but he now had the chance to save just as many. They entered the foyer to find the other men still in position surrounding the civilians.

"We're good to go," Simon said, causing them all to relax their stances and slightly lower their guns.

The two of them seized this opportunity. Simon slid the case behind the counter before shooting out the surveillance cameras as Sydney opened fire on the men, catching them all by surprise and taking them out faster than they could respond to. Within seconds the men lay dead on the floor and the civilians were in a panic. Syd and Simon grabbed the case and headed towards the exit, and towards the freedom that they both needed from the Covenant, from that lifestyle.

They were within meters from the door when the sound of footsteps could be heard growing louder and louder.

* * *

The men charged towards the entrance after the sound of gunfire rang throughout the streets. It only meant one thing...

They rounded the corner and spread out in one of the formations they'd been taught in defensive training. They all paused in the doorway as they found Simon and Sydney standing no further than a meter from the entrance. Simon held her close to him, with one arm tightly wrapped around her neck and the other aiming a gun at her head. Sydney fought against his grip but it made no difference.

The team leader lowered his weapon. The situation was under control. He glanced around the room at the sight before him. All of the other men lay dead in pools of blood across the marble floor while the civilians huddled together in a panicked mass.

"Everything's set into place, we need to clear the area before the blast." Simon said as he took a step towards the exit.

"We'll take her from here Walker."

The situation had just gotten ten times more difficult. These men obviously didn't trust him, which meant they either simply carrying out their strict orders or they knew that he had a part in this. He didn't know which it was, but at that point in time he could do nothing more than cooperate.

* * *

The CIA van sped along the city streets as it navigated its way through the afternoon traffic. Vaughn, Jack, and two other agents sat in the back of the van, all remaining silent. Vaughn couldn't help but entertain some level of hope...that maybe it was Sydney who had tipped them off. Who else could it be? It had to be her. And yet his mind was still filled with the images of those she had killed, the innocent lives...If they could prevent this attack, she'd be responsible for saving so many lives. Would that make up for what she'd done in the past? For what _Julia_ had done?

Jack sat beside Vaughn. Unlike Vaughn, Jack entertained no trace of hope. He knew it was Sydney who had sent the email, and he knew that his daughter was proving herself, showing that she is the loyal CIA agent that she'd always been. He couldn't wait to get his hands on Simon, to make him pay for all that he had done to his daughter's life. He wanted to get everything he could out of Simon before causing him hours and hours of pain to avenge his daughter.

The van began to slow as it turned onto the same street as the bank. The local authorities had not been contacted yet as there was no real proof of any kind of attack. That's what they were there for. Another car trailed them, ready to back up the other agents if required. The bank was no further than a block away and soon came into vision. The towering building was still standing...that was a good sign. The van slowed as it parked one hundred meters from the bank. If there were Covenant members inside, they didn't want to alert them of their presence...at least not yet anyway. They weren't idle long before there was movement outside the bank. A group of men all wearing black exited the building as sirens began to sound from a few blocks away. They quickly moved towards the van, coaxed by the sounds of the approaching sirens.

"Sydney!" Vaughn exclaimed as they watched the men push her into the back of the van before driving off.

"Follow the van." Jack ordered.

* * *

Sark paced across the diameter of the room, eagerly waiting any kind of news from his men. Since the surveillance had been shot out he'd been completely in the dark. All that he knew was what he'd been told during a brief conversation with the third team leader...Sydney had escaped...and that was all. Surprisingly that wasn't what angered him most about the entire situation. It was the thought of being betrayed that ate at him the most. There were two people who exited the vault, two people who entered the foyer, and two people who had probably killed his men. It was the one who had shot the cameras that had stuck in his mind. There were only two possibilities...and if Simon had been a part of it all, he would pay for undermining Sark's authority, and the orders from the Covenant.

Sark's cell phone began to ring, causing him to pause mid-stride and angrily snap open his phone.

"Where is Sydney?"

"We have her here, she escaped, got into the bank. They're all dead Mr Sark. Everyone else is dead except for us and Simon."

"Where are you?"

"We're headed towards you now, we should be there in a couple of minutes."

"Good, and what about the plutonium?"

"Everything's ready for detonation."

* * *

Sark opened the door to find the five men and Simon with Sydney in front of them. He smiled as he let them enter. They secured her to a chair and awaited their next orders.

"Leave us," Sark ordered as the men filed out of the room, leaving Simon and himself alone with their prisoner. "Now, Simon, you know your end of the deal..." He trailed off with a smirk on his face.

Simon nodded, "I was getting to that." He turned to Sydney, taking his time as he slowly walked towards her and took a seat across from her. "I'm sorry sweetheart, but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do," he said with a grin as he pulled out his gun and aimed it directly at her head. "Now we had fun, didn't we? Playing those little games, killing those men...You were one of us Julia, but you've changed. You aren't that cold blooded killer that we used to know and love..._'I can't do this anymore, I don't want to kill people, please help me...'_ You're pathetic."

_The killer instinct tells her to be aware of evil men._

She pulled her face away from his hand, from his touch. She couldn't bare to have him touching her now. She desperately tried to hold back her tears. She didn't want to see how he affected her, how his words hurt her and how his betrayal cut her.

"Oh come on, is that anyway to be treating me? I'm not the traitor here babe...you are. You betrayed me, you betrayed Mr Sark here, and you betrayed the Covenant...and for that, you have to pay love. Sorry." He stood beside her and pressed the gun into her temple.

She slammed her eyes shut. The metal was cold against her face, which contrasted to the burning tears that ran down her face and the pang of pain from her cheek. She still couldn't bring herself to say anything. She just sat in silence, waiting for the squeeze of the trigger.

"Wait..." Sark said, causing Simon to pull the gun back from Sydney's head. "You wanted to stop us, to stop this from happening. The least we could do is show you how badly you've failed. All those people in there, surely by now the police are inside, news crews, bystanders...the innocent people you've helped us to kill" Sark said with a smug smile. He enjoyed this too much. It was the greatest torture possible, one of the things that would affect Sydney the most...

He turned as he picked up the remote detonator. The three of them faced the screen as he held the detonator in his hand, letting it all sink into Sydney's mind. She couldn't control the tears any longer. She'd failed. She didn't even know what was happening anymore. Simon must've switched the plutonium without her knowing, meaning that the real plutonium was still in the vault. It had to be why Simon had wanted to finish installing the equipment. She couldn't believe her stupidity. After all that she'd been through...to place her trust in a man like him.

"Ready?" Sark asked.

Sydney took one last look at the man that had betrayed her, his gaze fixed on the screen awaiting his moment. She shut her eyes. She didn't want to see this. Seconds passed as she braced herself for the sound of the blast. It seemed like almost an eternity, and then a sudden sound. She jumped in her restraints, the adrenalin coursed through her veins as her heartbeat raced and her ears rang out in response to the sound...but it wasn't the sound of a bomb...it was the sound of a gun. For a second she wondered if she had been shot, but upon feeling no kind of pain besides the pain in her cheek, she slowly opened her eyes.

Sydney opened her eyes to find Sark on the floor, a pool of blood forming beneath him, and Simon, standing across from her, his back facing her.

"Simon?" She struggled to find her voice. The tears continued to flow. Her mind raced as she tried to understand what had just taken place...at what had happened over the last few hours.

He forced a smile. He'd contemplated this moment for days, but he couldn't imagine the feeling afterwards...the feeling of knowing your fate, the fate he had sealed himself after promising to help her, after pulling the trigger...

"You...but I thought..."

"I promised you."

The door slammed open. Simon spun around, expecting to find Sark's men at the door ready to kill him for what he had done. But before he could react, before he could respond, a gun fired and a bullet sailed through the air, hitting him in the chest. Simon fell to the floor, his surroundings became a blur, and all he could hear were Sydney's screams as the agents flooded the room.

He soon felt her hands on him, placing pressure on his wounds, touching his face...He could barely see her but he knew she was there. He wondered if he was dying, if everything was leading up to this...up to the end. But maybe it wasn't the end for him, he could survive it, it was just a bullet wound, he'd had them before...It was the end for many things. Most importantly...this was the end of them, of Simon and Julia...the end for Sydney's life as Julia...his Julia...

* * *

Y'all have probably given up on this story...and I wouldn't blame you. This took a lot longer than I expected, but I guess things always pop up when you least expect it. I decided to split the last part into two coz it was pretty long and I could update faster that way. Sorry about the ending. The one I had planned seemed a little more lame to me when I was typing. I hope this one was ok. Thank y'all for reading, I hope you liked it. / **Britt**


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